When Tomorrow Comes

Since you came home from work abroad 3 months ago, I can’t shake the thought from my mind each morning I would wake up that this day could be our “last”. And now…the dreaded moment has come. Time for me to see you go again.

Last night, while I watch you sleep, I keep wishing I have powers to stall time and make it last a bit more longer. But the Lord has decided that the time we had together as husband and wife was enough for now.

You know that I’m never good in the farewell department that’s why I never go with you to the airport to drop you off and say goodbye. But I braved this morning. I can bear to see you go this time because I now know that you’re not walking away from me…you’re just walking ahead of me. 

In my mind, I keep a picture of you beside me while you sleep. And in my heart I keep the hope and the peace I have each night that I will see you beside me when I open my eyes. For now, I bid you, not goodbye, my love. I like saying it the way the folks from Norfolk do.

Si yorlye morla.

I will see you tomorrow.   

Identity

“Never forget who you are.”

~George V to his son, Edward, the Duke of Windsor~

She

 She’s 15.

She was born and sold for 5 thousand pesos.

She had a normal, happy childhood. That is, until she found out the truth about herself, and the people she called “family”.

She was deeply hurt–knowing she was bought like some commodity. And at a very cheap price.

She had her first attack of epilepsy a year after that discovery. And her life had never been the same again.

She was called many names: retarded…rebel…crazy. Enough for her to believe she was really what they call her. Enough for her to be convinced that she’s unwanted. Enough for her to learn not to care.

She stopped bathing. Stopped brushing her teeth. Stopped wearing bra. Whenever she pee after each attack of epilepsy, she’d wear the same clothes. She doesn’t care if she stinks. In fact, she doesn’t care what she becomes at all.

She was beaten, jailed and humiliated. Sometimes molested. Nobody knows whether she had been raped, too. And like a commodity, she was deemed of having no more value. Time for her to be given away.

She’s being hauled off to a place where her “family” won’t see even a shadow of her. Good riddance they said.

She had been a part of my life for such a short time. But she will be a memory I know I will remember for the rest of my life. She had taught me things she probably didn’t know she was capable of teaching.

Like love.

Like how love can break the hardest of steel.

Today’s sing along song: Weight of the World by Chantel Kraviazuk

What Goes Around Comes Around

The coming week seems to be a time for many goodbyes and so longs.

Next week officially ends the semester (THANK GOD!) so goodbye to my new friends. It’s sad in a way because just when we were really enjoying time spent together, it’s suddenly time to say our adieu

Next week..J is leaving again I hope he’ll be back soon enough to help me prepare for the W-day. I will be so loaded with work these coming months I don’t think I can manage to organize everything alone!

But, goodbyes or no goodbyes…2 weeks of sabbatical from paperworks is a HUGE reprieve for my senses! The downside is…J won’t be here to keep me company…talk about wrong timings!

Today’s sing along song: Bad Timing by Blue Rodeo

Series of Unfortunate Events

I guess I’m now ready to talk about this. Spill the beans and all that crap. After weeks spent in tears and self-pity…I survived to tell the tale.

…

…

…

Two Saturdays ago, I was in The Professor’s class..happy and blissfully counting the days ’til the end of the semester–research proposal submitted. Check. Data for case study and IEP. Check. Outline for review of literature. Check. Bf due to arrive in a weeks time; hot oil, mudpack, new pants. Check, check, check.

And then, The Professor dropped the bomb.

 ”Those of you who have accumulated more than 3 absences in my class shouldn’t come next meeting. You’re dropped!”

Dropped. Dropped. Dropped. Dropped. Dropped.

That blasted word echoed in my head like a rotten broken record! Rats! I’ve been absent four times! Surely, this chunk of a person pretending to be human is kidding me!

But after hours of begging and being shooed like an unwanted pest, I realized..he was serious!

Now, this IS serious. First..I’m in a timetable here. His is the last of my academic subjects I had to take before I could enrol for practicum and thesis. Man, I could smell the scent of my diploma…my masters degree…in a year’s time.

Second, since I convinced myself that I’m ready for marital bliss and committed my self to it by getting engaged to my man, I really have no choice now but to hurry with my studies so I could join him wherever he is after the wedding.

Third..I’m so tired of it all. I just want it all finished! Done!

And now…THIS! Waaah! This is the first time in all my academic years that I have been dropped from a class! I’ve been a good A-1 student you could kill me sometime for being such..

I am now one semester delayed from graduation..and here’s the funny part. It was ALL my fault. Me and my laziness. And the endless traffic in Metro Manila (I have to put blame on something else aside from myself..ayt!?).

Just when I thought everything was okay, that I’ve accepted my sad fate..another bomb was dropped in my lap last night.

I learned that I CAN enrol for practicum this semester. In fact, I was emailed about the names of my groupmates already. And my practicum adviser. Guess who?

THE PROFESSOR!!!!!!

Nightmare to the highest power!

Today’s sing along song: Poor Unfortunate Souls by Jonas Brothers